TIRED OF RUNNING AWAY FROM YOUR MONEY, FREEZING AT (EVEN THE THOUGHT OF) MONEY, AND OVERALL LIVING IN MONEY STRUGGLE?
I pulled up to the curb, and it died.
There was no advanced warning, no weird sounds or clunks or jerking before.
It just fully and completely died, on the spot.
My 2001 Toyota Corrolla that I drove across Canada.
I didn’t even have to turn the engine off. It just died. Done!
This was only a week after my ex called me from his trip away to LA, to let me know that he cheated, and was calling off the marriage. That I was no longer on his payroll (or his heart, apparently) which meant I’d have to move homes, within 5 days, max. With no money!
Thank goodness I was always the type to stay friends with my exes, because one of them pulled through for me.
“Of course you can stay with me,” he said, as all the thoughts of harsh words I’d said to him in the past marched across my mind.
He explained that since we had lived together, his daughters now use the spare bedroom as an art supply room, so I could sleep there.
He offered to do it up for me … “No, NO!” I said. “Don’t bother. I just appreciate you helping me out.”
I’m not sure why I didn’t let him .. the whole five months I stayed there … maybe … maybe the nasty nature of self-loathing and sabotage engrained in us who have been through trauma …
… could be even the raw vegan food culture I was so much a part of back then, which didn’t believe in mattresses, rather hard surfaces better for the back…
….mostly likely a combo of all these things - but I slept on that floor and didn’t buy a bed again until so much money poured in I didn’t know what to do with it all.
There were a handful of times it wouldn’t start before, but not like this.
This time I knew.
I felt it in my bones.
This part of my life was over. Deader than deady-bones … and all I could feel was terror about what was next for me, because the most I’d ever made was from a pay check at work, and it was usually spent (on credit cards and other debt) before I deposited it to the bank.
I was also just waking up to an old energetic pattern running inside of me around money and men, that there was A LOT of trauma holding me to this pattern of choosing men that would not support my success - not long term, anyway.
Later I would see that there was a pattern of me sabotaging my own success around such men too … BUT FOR NOW … for now … I had to make money.
Actually much more “serious” in terms of dollar amounts than I could have even imagined possible for me (at the time).
So….little did I know, I would bring in $24,000 in sales within that next month, doing exactly what I love: mentoring business women, just like I still am, right now!)
How could I EVEN know that was possible for me?
I grew up in a town endearingly known as "the armpit of Canada” with a mom who worked as a nurse, and a dad who worked as a bus driver.
So no, NO I couldn’t have imagined such wealth for me.
Except..I did. I was at rock bottom. I turned on some old recordings of calls I had with a former mentor and listened to every word she said.
I did exactly what she said, even though it felt like a pipe dream in my head, with a teeny tiny connection to my body - one I could not give up on.
I chose to trust.
To listen to my soul (which is what that mentor taught me; I only ever choose mentors who are soul-based, of course!).
With my soul was on board, I was running for it, without really moving at all. Sleeping on that mat, on the floor at my ex-boyfriend’s.
He lived two blocks away from a forest I got so much inspiration from, a place I felt really at home in (you know the kind???).
I went there every day. The whole time I lived there. In between sprints of writing blog entries, taking cool photos, doing videos to inspire business women into their greatness, I circled that lake mirroring tall evergreens and the bluest sky until I was so full, I’d return to working on my business again. I’d often do videos right from there, which are still on YouTube!
That one day though, the day my car took it’s last breath, it was different.
That was the day shame died for me - that toxic brand of shame that gets woven into your identity, when you’ve been through trauma.
That was the day decades of darkness parted, so light could come in.
The light of money!
There is a light side. You see it all over the internet, with women you admire it. Enjoying it. Having a great relationship with it. Not feeling trapped or abused by it.
It was a time of birthing the empowering relationship with money that I now know so well.
It was a big first, with big payoffs - not just financially, but physically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally, too.
Because I learned through experience (vs just talking about it) that making money in a way that felt so good to me I couldn’t NOT show up and guide women in the way that made me feel better than anything else I’ve ever done, was the only way I’d feel fulfilled.
Not to mention the ONLY way I’d even have the chance to make the kind of impact I knew I was destined to make (and be supported by money as I do).
My whole being came online that day my car plunked out and I have made myself available to women just like you, ever since.
You deserve this, too!
A relationship with money
If you’re saying YES … if you’re on board with my SOUL MONEY OR BUST train, then come sit on that metaphorical MAT with me.
Click either the half day or full day button below to book your date … because if I did it, so can you.
I’m rooting for you, Girl!
XOXO Success Coach Gina