DROP THE MASK YOU WERE NEVER MEANT TO WEAR IN THE FIRST PLACE
Today we are talking masks, Dearest.
We’ve all worn them....and not just on Halloween.
Sometimes we put the mask on consciously, sometimes we’re not aware of putting it on at all ... our brain just drops it on us, to protect us in uncomfortable situations.
Then, like anything we do on repeat, if it happens often enough, if we wear it long enough...it becomes a habit.
We get used to wearing it.
This is especially true if you’ve grown up with a lot of trauma.
You get used to being sad, for example.
This habit follows you all the way into adulthood, you don't even know you're doing it.
I didn't know I was doing it.
As a young, young, woman, I was actually uncomfortable being too happy, too long!
I could handle blips of it . . . but anything more than that?
So, without realizing I was doing it, after a bout of a bunch of really really good things that brought me joy happened in a row, I'd start looking for something to make me sad.
A man who I knew would argue with me. A family member guaranteed to make me feel bad if I called them with an open heart. Calling a phone or company I owed money to - that one was a guaranteed frustrating mood killer, every time!
Here's the truth: flow scared me.
Being real with no masks on terrified me.
I had no idea who I was without being mostly sad....it didn’t feel right, or comfortable....I didn’t know how to be any other way.
Then one day, in a healing session, something popped for me.
I dropped the mask.
I walked outside after the session and looked at the sky and felt the most incredible joy.
“How beautiful that blue is,” I thought to myself.
Google was just new back then, but I hopped on my giant heavy computer and asked it how to be happy all the time.
The first thing I learned was that happiness naturally comes and goes, but JOY? That was a way of being....a flow state.
A lot of meditation sites came up too.....which pointed me back to my studies of the book The Power Of Now by Eckhart Tolle.
Ever since that day, nearly twenty years ago now, I’ve made it my practice to stay in flow.
I fall out, I get back in.
Over the years I’ve created the habit of staying in joy more and more.
Being flow, instead of wearing any masks at all.
You know, that feeling of everything being effortless. Easy. Graceful. 99.9999% of the time going how I want to go.
I wasn't used to it.
Like many people I encounter today, I didn't have much experience with “flow” growing up - or the times that were really bad over-shadowed all the good for me, and I couldn't remember. Not until I healed.
So .... here's what I have to say to you today, Sister.
Accept the way things were, in the past. Accept that you wore a mask to protect yourself, that the feeling bad habit, existed....for good reason!
That there was a time when feeling good was a foreign experience, and we humans avoid those unknown experiences at all costs - especially when the unhealed subconscious is running the show.
It's okay that it was that way.
And it's okay to slowly (or quickly if you want to) move into another way, too.
To train yourself, to BE in the joyful energy, bit by bit by bit.
Release any and all shame around feeling like you're bad, or different, or not worthy of the joy, because you're not used to it. Because you didn't have it, growing up.
None of that's your fault.
It is your choice now to create new habits though.
Joy, abundance, feeling wealthy, beautiful, alive - they're all feeling states - and we really do have 100% control over how we feel.
Even though it doesn't FEEL that way, right now.
I get it!
I lived much of my life there.
Then I worked diligently at practicing this new way.
The one that makes me happier, from the inside out.
The one that makes life easier for me, and for you too, when you choose it.
So what will it be? On this day that others are putting on their masks, what will you choose?
There’s no judgment here. You'll wear a mask or many masks until you don't need them anymore. That's just the way us humans are.
Just keep your eyes open as you go.
Watch those subconscious patterns that run your show, until you've had enough of it.
Until you can say, "Hey! Thanks for being there, old pattern. For making me feel safe, until I was ready for another way. For keeping me alive when staying quiet, obedient, and frozen, was my only option.”
Until you can love yourself in that whole way. Love all that is now. Even love what was - and move onto living how you really want to live.
Bare, maskless, authentically YOU.
I'm with you, every step....
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