FEELING UNWORTHY IS NO LONGER AN OPTION

FEELING UNWORTHY IS NO LONGER AN OPTION

FEELING UNWORTHY IS NO LONGER AN OPTION


I did this for years.


Told myself it wasn’t for me.


Other women could go out there and live their dreams, speak their truth, experience life exactly as they deep down inside wanted to.


But it wasn’t for me.


I wasn’t raised that way.


This wasn’t my natural way of being and I couldn’t learn it if I tried.


My way was different.


My results were different.


Yes I was smart and yes I knew how to have fun and yes I enjoyed my creativity at times,


but live ALL THE WAY INSIDE OUT?


Backward to everything I ever knew and believed about myself to the point where I just accepted as default that life was here to serve me?


To nourish me, to love me, to envelop me, to give to me, to exhilarate and delight me, in the most beautiful fun way?


NUH-uh.


This seemed selfish.


Even when I did feel blips of believing that maybe JUST MAYBE I could let this happen for me a little,


I simply didn’t have the girl balls or soul balls or whatever way you wanted to paint the courage to do it.


Besides, it wasn’t meant for me.


Some girls get that kind of life, some girls don’t and I didn’t.


Things were different for me. They always would be .... until ....


UNTIL

I understood what worthiness really was.


It clicked certain as the tick of a click in me.


THAT THIS FEELING UNWORTHY THING WAS A LIE I’D BEEN TELLING MYSELF.


A habit I’d learned over the years, picked up from people who didn’t know better just like I hadn’t all those years .... the habit of putting myself last again...slipping down the side of that bucket of crabs to live at the bottom again ....


Because that’s just what you did. That’s what everyone else did. It’s how you coped. It’s how you do life.


It’s selfish doing it how the other women did it. To let myself shine like Beyoncé does.


That’s for her, not for me. My voice wasn’t as important. My life not that special. What I had to share and reach not that valuable.


Women like that could have it, but not me. I just wasn’t like that.i was raised a good Catholic girl.


No way I would be one to rock the boat in my life or others. 


No way would I dare to actualize that vision deep inside me that I silently desired for the world (at the very least MY world).


Who was I to do that?


I wasn’t selfish like that.


That wasn’t me.


It’s just how it was....until I learned


Until it became SO HARD the opposite of selfish it just wasn’t anymore.


Actually, living this way became a can’t be, when I remembered this one thing ...


....this deep truth I knew before all the trauma, all the lies about me not being worthy, before all the BS seeped into my bones, I knew this one thing, and at last remembered it again:


The Creator who made me would never have designed me or anyone that way.


I had it inside out, all these years!


Our desires to live this way or that way are planted inside of us for a reason!


A reason we don’t get to judge by saying we are unworthy.


NO MATTER HOW PROGRAMMED WE ARE OR HABITUATED OR USED TO FEELING WE AREN’T WORTHY,


We simply don’t get to be the judge of that anymore.


It’s not up to us ... Creative Intelligence decides what we are meant for, who we are meant to help, how we are meant to do it ... we are just here for the ride.


We sure as heck don’t get to cancel ourselves out because of some unworthiness lie.


The Creator made us WORTHY AF from Day 1 and that is just that.


Selfish is thinking this is up to us. That we are so entitled we get to say no to our true selves, the soul living inside of us, our Highest most Creative most Fun most Glorious spiritual God selves ... that turning our back is even an option.


That’s what is truly selfish.


Believing the lies.


Indulging in the hiding from this.


Shutting every window and door in our life to this until we literally can’t breathe or see truth and connection and prosperity and love in our lives and the world anymore,


because we slammed the valve shut on the real truth about who we are, and what we came to do in this world, with our business, our life!


SO NO, IT’S NOT AN OPTION ANYMORE.


You don’t get to pretend anymore, and neither do I.


We live inside out from the way we were taught to live and that is just that.


Uncomfortable AF.


Foreign AF.


But true AF.


Life-giving, energy-giving, soul-nourishing FREE as we were always meant to be.


That’s our only option now.


I have let THIS truth seep in over the years.


That deep knowing that I could no longer live this way anymore.


The days of living small, whatever that was going to look like from now on, we’re finally over for me.


I have decided this is the way it’s going to be for me now.


I remembered that how I feel as an adult woman, no matter the trauma behind me, the lies that went along that trauma that I once felt was the only way to live and believe,


I decided things are different for me now, and so they became different.


THEY ARE DIFFERENT.


All because I decided they would be.


Will you?


XOXO Success Coach Gina


PS. Tomorrow at 10am PST is our first *live* call for my Bosses in Pajamas group! It’s my community of women who gather together to do this inner work required to build wealth in our business and life: wealth from within! We meet twice per month in a safe, supportive, fun virtual space when I stay on the phone with you until all of your business and life questions are answered. You show up and I show up to clear that gunk that’s been stopping you all these years from living and thriving as you were always meant to! We live life together: http://www.BossesinPajamas.com


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Gina Silvestri