WHEN PAST TRAUMA INTERFERES WITH YOUR MONEY NOW

WHEN PAST TRAUMA INTERFERES WITH YOUR MONEY NOW

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WHEN PAST TRAUMA INTERFERES WITH YOUR MONEY NOW

BY GINA SILVESTRI, WOMEN’S EMPOWERMENT

& MONEY CONFIDENCE COACH

Many women who experience trauma, particularly relationship trauma, have difficulty with money. This is because money can sometimes sneak in and become part of the trauma, even though it wasn’t initially at all - or at least you didn’t think it was, or never thought of things this way.

Since October is #DomesticViolenceAwarenessMonth, let’s illustrate this with the example of a woman who has experienced domestic violence.

Let’s say she was in a violent relationship as an adult, as well as witnessed violence between her parents in her childhood home.

Now, after she’s left the violence behind, a (seemingly) odd pattern pops up in her life, a pattern she cannot seem to change, so she comes to me for help with.

What she sees of her pattern, is that she feels disempowered with money. She cannot make or when she does make some, she cannot hold enough money long enough, even to cover her basic needs.

She’s frustrated, feeling stuck, helpless and overwhelmed at the stress having no money creates for her - especially when she tries to leave these relationships to survive on her own, without violence. She’s left the relationship many times, and each time, she’s faced with this pattern of having not enough money to survive, so she starts to get feelings of needing to go back to the violent man, in order to have food on her table, a roof over her head, and her bills paid.

She’s absolutely right - there is a disempowerment pattern here, one that can be changed by digging a little deeper.

What I see is something rooted deeper in her earlier trauma, as a child. Most likely her father was the breadwinner, and so she associated money as being “in his hands,” right along with the violence, which she did not want.

So guess what happens automatically now, as an adult, in her subconscious mind, without her really understanding or knowing about it?

She rejects money, just as much as she rejects violence.

Again, she doesn’t mean to do this - of course she doesn’t!

She doesn’t mean to have a mindset program running in her brain, that literally says: “My father was violent, my father made all the money, therefore money is just as violent. Also my boyfriend was violent, he made all the money, so it’s confirmed that money is just as violent. Therefore, just like with violence, when money arrives onto the scene, it is something to be avoided at all cost, and run from.”

Nobody wants this kind of unresolved trauma-based program running in their energy. It just got associated together, when she was a young child, and it’s now taking over her world, confusing the heck out of her.

The good news is, that once you understand and see what’s happening, you get your power back. The very power you need to resolve it - because, at the end of the day, it’s all energy. Money, trauma. Same, same.

Some of it super INTENSE energy, of course - still, all energy.

That is really good news!

It’s all workable. Nothing that can’t be surmounted, and that’s what we are here for.

It just takes deeper understanding, acceptance, commitment to change, then work on changing those mindset patterns by re-wiring the brain, and the energy of trauma still living in the body. When this work is done right, the transformation is anchored in deeply to the whole being, then the person given tools to maintain the change.

That’s how trauma becomes resolved, and stops interfering with your money life, for good!

XOXO Success Coach Gina

Gina Silvestri