MY BIG FAT STRESS STORY . . . YOURS TOO?
You may know that I weighed 300 pounds back in 2005.
You might know too, that I grew up super slim, without knowing what it was like to have even a ten pound weight gain, then suddenly became obese, at twenty-eight years of age, seemingly, to me anyway, “out of nowhere.”
Looking at it on the surface, you might even say it wasn’t out of nowhere at all - there was the stress of working on Canada’s second largest child murder case in my career. My ego and success-driven mind took it as a compliment being chosen to work on such a high profile case, but my nervous system was rumbling with overloaded stress …. and more ancient rumblings from my past.
Yes, there was that! The trauma I experienced at fifteen years old, which, while I had received counselling for, wasn’t fully resolved. It needed me. Just like my physical body needed me, to keep exercising it and eating healthy foods and meditate.
Instead, I accepted the Post Traumatic Stress Diagnosis (later changed to Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, when my doctors learned of the violence I witnessed growing up), and I also, after decades of being treated naturally, with herbs and home-remedies from my small-village Italian family - after that murder case, I found myself taking synthetic pharmaceuticals for the first time in my life! The side effects of which, I’d learn later, were compulsive eating, suicidal thoughts, weight gain, and severe organ stress.
OOPS! So a year after that diagnosis and mis-aligned treatment therapy, I fought hard-core for my healthy by going on an extreme raw vegan diet. It worked … for as long as I was on the diet, which was six whole years, without wavering.
As you can extrapolate by now, there were all kinds of surface-type reasons for my 150 pound weight gain. Thirteen years later, I nod my head at each of them too, AND I know better.
I know to look for stories underneath, which is what I’m here to teach you, too.
Since then, you see, my weight has yo-yo’d a bit again …. which has really gotten me head scratching.
I mean……at first I thought it was the medication, then the stopping of my exercise as I dealt with the side effects of the medication, and, the isolation, nervous system stress and sedentary lifestyle that living with untreated/improperly treated CPTSD was for me …
But now I’ve resolved the isolation bit, the nervous system bit. In the past thirteen years, I’ve gone ALL IN and hard with using every treatment and therapy that resonated to bring me to calm, grounded, present-time resolution of my early traumas, and they worked. I even teach women how to do this for themselves now, with astounding results, in not just financial areas of their business lives, but their romantic, self-esteem, and body confidence worlds too!
Here I am, I’ve come all this way and seen so much success, then last week a new layer of the “surface” variety arose to explain all this: I’m insulin-resistant.
This basically means that my brain cannot receive the sugar it needs and I gain weight like a MOFO…. which brought a gazillion AHAs about this whole entire weight gain journey of mine…
*STILL* I know there’s something more beneath.
I know because the only way I have helped the business women who have been hiring me as their mentor since 2009 to bring in amounts of money that blow their previous perception of what was possible for them out through several layers of our stratosphere,
and the only way I myself was able to blast through all of my own insecurity and trauma-ridden, internalized violence and symptoms to create the kind of business that supports women who have been through trauma themselves, at such a mass level that I was able to generate $24k of sales in a week myself,
was by looking WAY DEEPER than the surface.
We all have our talents and God-given gifts, and being able to see what’s happening under all the surface stuff is mine.
I can pinpoint what mindset (belief) patterns are there, where they started, and how to shift them like no other.
This is my zone of genius.
And while it’s not always easy to apply what we are best at to our own lives, due to those sneaky blind spots we all carry when it comes to “our own backyards,”
I do know this, about my big fat stress story:
at the end of the day, it’s just a story.
The PTSD, how the trauma from my past impacts me today. All those reasons I’ve outlined for my weight gain. Not to mention the horrific stories I told myself for years about men after that dating violence attack I experienced in my teen years, which I haven’t even touched on here….
They’re all just stories.
Repeated thoughts I told myself over and over again, unknowingly bringing more of the same, what I didn’t want, into the world, by telling them to myself over and over and over again.
Meantime, just like the beautiful but barely visible kitten sleeping nuzzled in my chest in this blog entry’s photo,
my gorgeous, raw, soul-juicy potential stayed with me all along.
Ohh, it was clouded and hidden and made to be way more mysterious than it actually was over the years, due to all the pain, the smoke and mirrors, the drama of it all …
when really, it was simple all along.
NOT EASY - in no way is working through all this stuff “easy” … but simple, indeed.
Identify the story. Release it. Then fill up with all the beautiful soul stuff that matches your true essence,
which was right there all along.
Beneath all these stories.
Because no matter what stories you choose to buy into and tell yourself from here,
always, it will be, right there.
Available for you to dive into.
Shed the old, stand firm in your commitment to the TRUE, then dance on the graves of all the old stories.
XOXO Success Coach Gina
P.S. My membership community is up and running!!! I created BOSSES IN PAJAMAS for you to have a safe, incubated, protected space to do this work in, with Mamma Bear me and like-hearted, like-souls doing this same work with us. CLICK HERE TO READ MORE AND JOIN US NOW